Dear owner of the piece of #**$! gray Chevrolet Malibu Classic with license plate number 5KGK691:
I hope you had a great time stuffing your face this weekend while utilizing my parking spot. Needless to say, should this happen again, I will not hesistate to employ the services of the most neanderthal-like members of the auto towing workforce that I can find to haul your pathetic ride off the premises.
Berkeley Q-cup review. Drinks: 6/7. Food: 0/7. Service: 3/7. Expected lifetime: 8 months before closing up shop. Of course, 44.3% of UC Berkeley's undergraduate population is Asian, so perhaps this will be a slow death before this space frees up. *tapping foot until that day*